Unfinished Sympathy

he couldn't hear anything. the heaviness of massive attack filled his consciousness, he came to know the train has stopped only by the break in vibrations . he clutched his headphones to his ears, closed his eyes and tried to focus on the music.

his mind continued to drift back to her, against his will.

last time he rode the train, she rode with him, straddled across his lap as he held her steady by holding her by her hips. she clutched his neck and kissed his lips, enjoying the leers from the homeless couple clutching cardboard signs that had jumped the rails back at the station, stifling giggles at the irritated sighs from the old lady in the corner.

the girl a few seats over from them had turned up her iPod and drowned out the worries of the old woman, smiling at them. when they looked at her curiously go on, chile was all she said, beckoning them to continue on with their inappropriateness.

he hadn’t ridden since that night. that was the night she jumped, right onto the tracks, into the path of the train they’d been waiting on to take them home. without a word, without a warning. she stood at the edge, like she often did, teetering for the thrill, he thought. she looked into his eyes, she smiled the same smile she smiled every time she smiled at him, and she turned and leaped.

that was almost a year prior. the not knowing, the constant reminders, they had been too much for him. but now he was ready to continue on with his life and part of that life required a train to live.

‘unfinished sympathy’ began to bang against his skull. he blinked away the tears that had gathered and he pushed her out of his mind like he had learned to do in the months following her death, to prevent his own end at his own hands.