Time, Life

Dont you ever believe when soomebody says time heals, time heals nothing, may be mosquito bites. Time just allows you to keep getting bigger and further from your boo-hoo, your demon, untill one day you are so big that it tumbles right out of you, it goes away but leaves your skin scarred, scalded by its burning nails. Memory and people allow you to forget things and move on, but my memory has been working exactly in an reverse way, it remembers the things i ought to have forgotten long back, and it forgets the things i should have remembered. If we move on with time, if we accept the things, if we change our wishes depending on what can be fulfilled and what can not, what our own god is willing to give us, aint it compromise with our own life, why the concept of a long compromised life seems unsatisfactory to me right now ? but a small passioned one seeems better, i want the things i want, and if i move on, then i never wanted them strong enough.

I know that I have to enter the world now, the real uncomfortable, full of throns, world, I have to get busy fighting for a job, a home, and i have to have an ambition. and i will loose myself in all this, my wishes, desires, just like i stopped sketching, i will stop writing. 

But I want to feel things, like really really feel them. Howz that for an ambition ?